Still Alive!

New job, new place, new faces. Same old city.

So many things have happened it felt longer than the month that I’ve been back. I have obviously failed miserably trying to keep up with my sketches and writing and other aspects of my ‘interests’. I wish I could say that work has consumed me so much that I have no time for all of the above but the fact is that work has been decently comfortable. I haven’t pulled an all-nighter and I’ve only stayed until 9 pm once so far and that was from having drinks and dinner with colleagues. Okay, perhaps more than once.

Life is I have always expected in a sense that I know this is where I belong at this period of my life and yet there is so much more that seems to be missing. Once the puzzle is all complete, I am handed with this brand new puzzle pieces that seem to be lacking on the critical pieces. There are questions that Google (and the millions of people who hang out there) could answer, and there are ones continuously boggling the mind that only time could tell.

I have no patience. That fact has been established.

And so it became very difficult to put thoughts into words as they escape me in Usain’s speed. Throwing my limbs up in the air in a scream of fit won’t help. Nor paralyzing them into this unearthly crouching position that people who spend too much time in front of the computer tends to do.

It is unnerving to think about so many things at the same time yet still trying to maintain reality to the people you interact with daily. Perhaps that’s why I love meeting people. Perhaps they’re the ones who always keep me grounded with those banal questions of where I’m from, where I live and what I do. It is the ones that look deep inside my eyes and truly ask “Why are you here?” in the meaning that only those who’ve been through so much yet lived so little could truly get. It is those ones that would carve their special notch inside my terrain and hence a little internal salute that perhaps only the ghosts of my mind could see.

Why am I here?

Apart from all the places I could be. Apart from all the jobs I could do. Apart from all the people I could surround myself with. Apart from all the adventures I could weather. Apart from the despair, happiness, loneliness, abundance, loathings and triumphs. I am here.



About inifeli

Sketch a lot, write a lot, read a lot. Live a lot.

Well, I'd say....

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