“Three weeks. A country full of strangers. Maybe I’ll go have a proper conversation with myself for once. Maybe the sky will part and I’d finally figure out what to do with my life.”
Apart from the first two words, nothing could be further from the truth.
The friendly faces I crossed path with, I did learned so much from. Travelling with a group of 9 people in such tight space tend to leave quite an impression on you. Whatever that impression is.
Conversations with myself? Absolutely. Nothing of the nature I thought I’ll have though. The most repeated phrases that kept bouncing off my inner walls were “Oh My God. How did I get to be this lucky?” and “How could people not believe in God when you see things like this! Even just that ability to appreciate such beauty!” (and then I’d go into this convoluted pseudo-psycho-existentialism train of thought that will only ends when my eyes start to notice how the clouds looked like cotton candy and my other part of the brain started thinking how awesome it would be to be able to hug them. or lick them)
So no. Nothing of the revelation kind that would direct me into the future.
Though I do learn how I am obsessed with this notion of getting a lesson of every single thing that has happened in one’s life. Intentionally or not. To a point where enjoying a moment seem to be impossible if there’s not a silver lining to be thread upon.
Oh the irony.
So many things to write. So little coherence pooled. I feel words swimming in utter chaos in my mouth. Brewing and simmering. Patience. I learn patience.
And I learned how much Facebook and the ability to peer into another person’s projected life in such great details could decrease one’s ability to enjoy life to the fullest. Truly was blessed with days where I could not figure out who has done what somewhere. Truly finding the courage to let it go. Slowly.
Now for the new year. A lot of hopes and dreams. 20 to count and still adding to be exact.
My key this year? Less bravado, more doing.
Feliz Ano Nuevo, mi amiga.